Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
