someone get that fucking seahorse.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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