my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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