Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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