tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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