Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
