just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize