She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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