problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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