An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize