your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
