this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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