Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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