how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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