If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
