I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
