addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
