i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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