Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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