You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
