If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
