She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
