So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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