Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
