you would pick up someone in the library
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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