Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
