jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am available for nakedness
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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