biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you had me at cake vodka
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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