Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is wine microwaveable?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
