it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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