I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I will be naked everywhere
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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