is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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