i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize