I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
