Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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