evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
