currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
