I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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