He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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