Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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