marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize