The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
