you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
