He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
