If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
