Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
