I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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