The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
