rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize