Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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