dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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