No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish i was in the wii world.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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