susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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