Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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