Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
this will be a night to untag.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
