i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
