Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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