party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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