Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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