I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize