oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
