How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
