So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
