Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This baby is an asshole
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
