SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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