I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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