her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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