my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
