My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
