they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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