for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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