belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize