That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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