This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
